You want to move on with your life, but you don't know how. How do you know when to move on and how do you get over an ex?

Relationship expert Michael Baisden, host of the new daytime talk show "Talk or Walk," says you must move on when you're no longer happy on a consistent basis in a relationship.

"That's a dead giveaway. If the relationship isn't getting better and the other person isn't working toward making it better, then it's time to go and make a change," says the bestselling author of Never Satisfied: How and Why Men Cheat, Men Cry in the Dark and The Maintenance Man.

Change, oddly enough, is precisely what prevents most people from wanting to move on, observes Baisden.

"You don't want to feel like you've lost time, energy or money. It's like a bad investment in stock, you feel like it's going to turn around."

Myreah Moore, who has been nicknamed "America's dating coach," says that when the joy leaves a relationship, it's time to make an exit.

"When you find that your soul isn't being nurtured anymore, it's time to move on," she says. "When everything becomes a chore or you have to work so hard to stay there and be there, you should move on. A relationship takes work. Even when you're in the right relationship, you're going to have rough times, but you learn from them. There's a natural flow that will happen. But when you have to work hard and you're still not happy, you must move on."

Women tend to wrestle with self-esteem issues more than men do once a relationship ends. For this reason, they often have a real problem moving forward, say Baisden and Moore.

"For women they don't want the stress of a new sex or dating partner," explains Baisden. "They may feel they aren't as attractive and they don't want to get back out there again. They don't want to be alone. Some people don't know how to be alone because they haven't had to practice it. How do you learn to be alone again?"

Moore maintains, "Women tend to hang on to bad relationships because they fear they can't do any better. Women have a belief system that there are no good men out there. They think `I can work through this' because they are afraid of being alone. Women are vulnerable and will put up with stuff just to say they've got a man."

Men, on the other hand, move on much more differently, says Moore, who co-authored the book Date Like A Man To Get The Man You Want!

"Men have a much healthier attitude. They know there's an abundance of women. So they'll go through women like Kleenex. Women must change their attitude and believe there is an abundance of good men out there once they get rid of their loser. Another train is coming. What we believe, we conceive."

Men, Baisden adds, are also more prone to jump into another relationship in the hopes of finding a solution for trying to get over an ex.

"People need to go through the rebound dating experience to realize that isn't the answer," he says. "Men are usually quicker to get a sexual relationship going or date than women. For men our emotions aren't as tied to sex. So for men the physical act may not fulfill them, but that's what they do to forget the other person."

But jumping into another relationship right away isn't the solution, says Moore. "It's like a drug. When you don't want to get in touch with your feelings right away, you'll date someone else just to avoid looking at where you need to grow. You'll keep creating the same relationships and attracting the same people. You need to get to a point where you can be okay and in a blissful situation being by yourself."

If you're not happy single, you won't be happy with someone, says Baisden. "It's relative how happy you were before you got into a relationship because most people aren't happy when they get into one. That's why it's important to be happily single first because then you have a measuring rod."

While it's recognized that getting over an old flame is no easy task, Moore and Baisden offer a few important steps in the process of helping one to get over an ex:

* CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION. "The more contact you have with an ex will keep you tied to that person," says Moore. "You should tell a person you can't see him/her because `I'm healing from this relationship.'" Concludes Baisden, "You're not trying to move on until you completely disconnect. It's counterproductive if you keep the communication going because it gives you the opportunity to backslide. You've got to be taking steps or you allow things to remain stagnant."

* DO NOT REMAIN FRIENDS. Baisden cites, "If you have children, you're no longer friends, but business associates. Only discuss the kids. When you remain friends there's still an emotional attachment to the drama. Friendship is the foundation of a relationship."

* DO NOT DATE. "Give yourself at least 3 to 6 months to review in your heart and head what happened before you date," explains Moore. "There is a grieving process. You shouldn't get into any serious dating or relationships because you need time to review and get back in touch with you. If you've been with a person for years, give yourself a year. It takes time to release a person from your energy field."

* DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD LOVE SONGS. "Stay away from the oldies and slow jams for the first couple of months, because they tear your heart apart," warns Baisden. "People think slow songs are therapeutic, but they can be torturous."

* THINK ABOUT WHY YOU'RE NOT TOGETHER. "There's a reason why you're not together. Focus on that reason," Baisden says.

* RID YOURSELF OF REMINDERS OF YOUR EX. "Get rid of things that remind you of that person because everything holds energy," Moore points out. "Cleanse your house so that it's a clean space because it holds spirit. Get rid of jewelry and mementos by giving them to another person or charity. Keeping items will keep you attached to that person. If you lived together, get rid of the bed because it too holds spirit."

* STOP TALKING ABOUT THE EX. "When it's over, it's over. Even when friends and family want to talk about it, don't. Friends and family can't give you perspective because they will always be on your side. Words are powerful. The more you talk about it the more you're connected and it keeps that energy going," says Moore.

* GET BUSY. "Do things that are a service to others. Volunteer at a hospital or at the Red Cross," suggests Moore. "When you come out of a relationship, everything will remind you of that person. When you're of service to someone else, it takes your mind off of it so that person isn't in your head so much."